- I do not need social media.
Having travelled (few countries) around the world, using the wifi has given me many advantages. Moreover, I appreciate the power of the modern-day internet, and it sure has changed the lives for better in many ways. I remember our mum telling us that back in her days, they had to wait for 4-6 months to receive a letter from her father (he used to serve in the Brigade of Gurkhas). She told us that all the hot news would have become the old history by the time they received the letter. I have been cleaned from social media (Facebook/ Instagram/ Snapchat) for almost two years!
My addictive thumb had a mind of its own; swiping and scrolling through endless newsfeeds, photos of friends, relatives or even random strangers. I regularly was posting my thoughts, recent travel photos and selfies to seek revalidations, waiting for those likes and comments, wasting unbelievable time editing/ looking at the pictures of myself- it’s weird! I felt like I was missing out more and never able to catch up with reunion, invites, birthdays, parties, it was an on-going cycle which was overwhelming.
Honestly, though, as soon as I deleted the apps, I was miserable in the beginning. Social media is a drug, and quitting is hard- it needs patience, but the end result is beautiful. From my own experience, I concluded that I do not need these addictive apps to be happy, become confident, and seek revalidations from others. If you care for someone, you will make an effort to reach out regardless. If I miss out on some events, parties posted on social media->I do not know about it, so I don’t care; therefore, I am not missing out on it! Logic? đ
2)Â I will be using my sexy French oftenÂ
I do not know how people are fluent in multiple languages, whereas I am still struggling with one. Nepali is my mother tongue, and I speak it every day, but it’s sad that I still am not great at writings. You know the feeling you get that you are torn between nations, always on the move, not settling down properly, and continuously adapting to the changes. I feel like I can not fully understand neither my Nepali nor English!
I had literally no French before I went to Togo. One of our purpose volunteering in Togo was to learn French. But living in a local community, meeting Togolese I did learn a bit of French but “African French”. My First French tutor was a volunteer from Taiwan (whom we met at the same NGO). She was lovely and helpful; she did all the translations when we were with this NGO.
My second French tutor was Mrs Hanga; I booked classes twice a week. She was a very hard working woman and very patience with me. I was somewhat confident with my French by the time I got back to the UK. My friends and family were very impressed with my French, and I felt great! But if you don’t use your skills, you will then lose it! That is what has happened.
3)Â Yes, I would totally wear that attire back home
When I walked in the streets of Lomé, it immediately caught an eye of gorgeous ladies, children, a gentleman wearing those fashionable African textiles fabrics. I honestly fell in love with all the vibrant colours, patterns, gorgeous textiles and African prints dresses.
Living in Togo’s capital, I had to buy those beautiful fabrics and tailored fit them for my own body. I had tailored fitted so many of these beautiful African textiles; you guessed it- I even gifted my family with these babies when I got home for Christmas!! YAAASSS!!
When I moved to Mango (Northern part of Togo), me and other missionary expats agreed to meet up with our African Attire when we have our rendezvous in the western world. We believed that we would rock with our African textiles fashion in the modern community. Has it happened yet?? Yes, we did meet up but not with our African dresses- still pending!!!!
4)Â Become a master chef (at home)
I remember when I was younger, my mum calling me a “fussy eater”. Whereas my siblings ate random kinds of stuff, tried new foods and over towered me on every side; I was comfortable with what I knew was acceptable for my body. I.e.: boneless meat, No milk- or dairy products, meat FATS NO! NO!! I was scared to try new food for fear of not liking them, so I usually was comfortable with my old routined food menu. But now, my taste buds have changed, and so have I. One of my passion is to try new cuisines in the local markets.
I grew up in a large family with lots of females in the house. I grew up with my dad’s side of the family; I had my grandma, four aunties, my mum and my older sister; so you can tell there was no room in the kitchen for the new chef. My sister and I were also enrolled in the boarding school where we did not have to worry about cooking and doing laundry, but we were told to focus on our studies (which again, I was not great at either). Even though I have an excellent cook in my house but I failed to inherit the cooking genes from my family, yes it is not very reassuring.
However, when I moved to my second house (Mayberry House) from our (BeyoncĂ©’s house) in Mango, I had to cook for myself because no cooking meant no eating. First, I felt it was boring and didn’t like it, but I started enjoying it as time went by. I was learning new skills and tricks every day from the survival cookbook guide “Mango Style.” Later, we also hosted dinner parties and called guests over to our Mayberry House, followed by late-night movies, it was fun.
5)Â Become a regular blood donor
We all know by now that giving blood is considered a “life-saving act”. Fact: According to the research, you can save the lives of as many as three people by donating blood. Becoming a blood donor never crossed my mind, as living and working in a developed country, if required blood in an emergency, the healthcare professionals will magically transfuse pints of blood to sick patients. However, it’s not the same case in developing countries, at least not where I was working in Mango, Togo. So, if sick patients’ required blood, we would check family members, blood groups, if the blood grouped matched- then transfuse that blood. There are many reasons why this is the case: for instant; there is a lack of education, therefore, lack of donors, lack of time, stigma relating to HIV, the problem with electricity for storage. You are lucky if they have a blood bank- with your blood group, or finding O +ve blood (universal donor).
My blood donation story occurred when a patient was admitted following a Road Traffic Accident (RTA- so common in a developing world). The man was losing blood, and his hematocrit was dropping needing a blood transfusion. Unable to find his relatives, someone had to donate blood which then I volunteered. The patient did have a blood transfusion, got better and was discharged home. The second time I donated blood was probably after a month for storage, and I heard that it was used for a paediatric patient. Just rolling up your sleeve, pumping those veins for 40 minutes can save someone’s life, it makes a difference; you make a difference!
6)Â Get back into a healthy routine
While I was in Mango, my primary form of transportation was a bike. The route to reach the hospital would involve: cycling in my long skirt using headlamps in the nights, dodging majestic potholes, avoiding accidentally swallowing night insects, trying to avoid falling off the bike into sand, dirt and swerving around the puddles. Yes, it was a decent workout also great fun too! I keep procrastinating to join a gym membership that still hasn’t happened yet, and it’s only been six months. Procrastination is one of the significant issues that I battled with every day, which I now need to start working on it.
Beautiful Miriam and me cycling to get those sexy thighs in shape đ
7) Stay in touchâŠ
It takes a fair amount of time to start a friendship as an introvert, but once I build that relationship, I guess I am a loyal friend. I have given countless farewell hugs and genuinely yelled “stay in touch” as waving goodbyes. But staying in touch with a new travel friend can be challenging because I will not keep in touch with everyone I met while I was travelling, just a reality check. A handful of people have made my travel experience grand, who had an impact on my life. I carry thousands of beautiful memories with me, playing swimming pool soccer, worshipping the same Lord together, that late-night girl’s chats, cycle rides to the hospital, trips to African caves. Proud to say that I have those close travel friends whom I get updates from; who match my efforts to stay in touch. We even have a small reunion when they visit the town. So far, so good.
Single ladies in Mayberry House. So blessed đ
8)Â Organise a Bible study group
I can not thank those beautiful souls enough who have helped me grow spiritually in a most psychologically challenging environment. Our time in Togo was simple yet profound. It was beautiful; we lived, worked, ate, prayed, and grew together. Our time in Togo was harsh; we fell ill, we saw young, old, babies die of known/? Unknown cause! We watched babies die because we didn’t have enough ventilators. Every night, there were shared stories, tears that were shed, hugs that were needed, prayers that were requested, and every morning there were hearts that were mended. It was heartbreaking, but we held onto each other. We started girls’ bible study night at Minister’s House once a week. It was uplifting, motivating, and it has helped me in so many ways. All of these memories on this trip are some of my most cherished memories. Because of these girls fellowship and their constant love, I was able to tune my heart to God again, and I feel closer to God now. I can feel his comforting presence in my life, and I can listen to his word.
The more bible study we attended, the more experiences we shared, our friendship grew stronger, and my relationship with God was more profound. These days, I feel I am getting more relaxed because every day is not a struggle. I pray a prayer of gratitude, but life gets in its way. I notice that everyone is so busy that I have not been able to keep up my passion for starting a bible study group.
9)Â Treat London like a tourist would
So, coming home has been grand, but times those post-travel blues hits me hard. Traveling has given me freedom, excitement, a new perspective, and a lifetime opportunity. So, to beat my loneliness, I planned to see my home town, London, from a tourist perspective. I want to keep up to date with the new local news and visit local exhibitions, events and historical sites. I want to get excited just like a tourist searching “what to do in London” on TripAdvisor.
10)Â Get excited to be home
When I was away, I missed my family a lot. I also want to believe that my family, friends and my pets (Logan and fishes) missed me too. I am so grateful to have such a loving and caring family who always remembered me in their prayers. I am thankful for all the support from my church about getting home safely. I am so glad to eat my mum’s cooking again, which I missed a significant time for six months. I am so lucky to have my privacy and my own cosy bed where I do not need to share with others. I have missed out on so many things- for instance; my nephews birthdays, uni reunions, friend’s engagement, The Bank of England releasing a ÂŁ10 plastic note!!
